W hether it happened a month, a year or a decade ago, losing someone you care about is a tough process. And it can be complicated when you're queer. Misgendering, isolation, invalidation and hurtful family dynamics can shape our experiences of grief. Whatever your story, Queerly Bereaved is a space to come and share it.
W e're Maddy and Miriam, but if you want, you can call us The Grieving Girlfriends. Is that weird? Maybe. In 2018, Miriam lost her mum to a heart attack, and dealt with a really complex grieving process because of their strained relationship. Then in 2019, two months after she met Maddy, Miriam's dad died suddenly from a stroke. What the hell, right? Four months later, Maddy's mom passed away after a long struggle against cancer. So we've been through it, we get it. And we're always here to talk about it. Our hope is to create a wholesome community where we can support each other through it without the added pressure of hetero & cisnormativity.
We think it's important to make space to share memories of the people we've lost without worrying that other people will feel awkward. So bring your baggage, bring that mixtape they made, the poem she wrote you, your podcast recs, your favourite book about death. It's all good. There's no such thing as oversharing here.
That being said, let's be aware of each others boundaries and try our best not to trauma dump. This is a peer support space and informal meet-up rather than a professional-led support group.
The space is primarily for queer people who are grieving, but feel free to bring a friend, ally or carer if you're nervous or unable to come alone. You can also let us know in advance and we'll make sure to welcome you and have a chat.
H ow the evening will work
T urn up, order a drink at the bar and pop upstairs to our private space. There will be stickers and pens for names and pronouns. Then just pick a seat and have a chat - we don't plan on having a structured or guided group, but this may change in future. We're eager to get your feedback on what you need and want from the space, so do share your thoughts with us!
T his meetup is taking place on the 1st floor of a pub, and is not wheelchair accessible. We are actively looking for a wheelchair accessible venue in North or Central London - if you have recommendations, please let us know.
T here are gendered toilets, and one gender-neutral disabled toilet downstairs.
T here will be music which we can turn down or off if required.
S eating will be provided (including chairs with backs)