Coming out isn’t a one-off event. For many of us who are gay, it’s something we do again and again—when we start a new job, meet a new colleague, or decide whether to correct someone’s assumption about our partner. It’s a quiet decision that happens in break rooms, in interview panels, in team chats and performance reviews. And it never feels the same twice.
When I was early in my career, I thought I had to leave my identity at the door to succeed. Keep my head down, keep conversations neutral, and avoid saying anything that might “make it awkward.” I believed professionalism meant invisibility. It took me years to realise that being out at work didn’t make me a distraction—it made me human. And more than that, it gave me a kind of confidence I didn’t know I had.
But let’s be honest: being out at work isn’t always easy. Even in 2025, even in companies that claim to support diversity, there’s still that hesitation. Will it change how I’m seen? Will I be judged? Will it affect my chances of progressing? These aren’t just hypothetical worries—they’re grounded in the experiences many of us have had. The casual homophobia dressed up as “banter.” The bosses who mean well but don’t quite know how to react. The policies that say inclusion but don’t feel like it in practice.
That’s why finding confidence and community in your working life is more than a personal journey—it’s a form of resilience. And it starts by recognising that your identity isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.
There’s power in being visible. When you choose to be out (and I say “choose” because it’s your decision and no one else’s), you’re making space—not just for yourself, but for others too. You never know who’s watching, quietly wondering if they can be themselves here too. I’ve had colleagues come out years after I did and say, “I saw you being open and realised maybe I could be too.” It’s one of the proudest things I’ve experienced—not a promotion, not a project win—but knowing that just being myself gave someone else the courage to do the same.
That doesn’t mean you owe anyone your story. If you’re not ready, or if you’re in a place where it doesn’t feel safe, you’re not doing anything wrong by keeping that part of yourself private. Safety always comes first. But if and when the time is right, stepping into that authenticity can change how you show up—not just emotionally, but professionally.
When you don’t have to constantly filter yourself, you think more clearly, connect more easily, and contribute more confidently. You stop spending energy hiding and start using it to lead, innovate, and grow. Being out doesn’t mean shouting from the rooftops. It means being able to speak normally about your weekend. To correct someone without bracing for a reaction. To put a photo of your partner on your desk without wondering what people will say.
It also means finding or building a sense of community. And that’s often the turning point.
No one should have to feel isolated at work, but if you do, you’re not alone. Look for LGBTQI networks or employee resource groups (ERGs). If your workplace doesn’t have one, maybe you could be the one to start it. Or join external networks and professional groups that support LGBTQI professionals in your sector. Connection is fuel. It keeps you going when things get hard, and it reminds you that you’re part of something bigger.
Mentorship matters too. I’ve been lucky to have senior colleagues—some gay, some not—who took the time to support me, offer guidance, and back me when I needed it. It made all the difference. If you’re further along in your career, consider mentoring someone else. That sense of community and shared experience can shape someone’s entire outlook.
Workplaces are slowly changing. There are more inclusive policies now than ever. More companies flying the flag for diversity. But policies alone don’t build confidence. People do. Culture does. And it takes time.
You might find yourself navigating awkward conversations. You might still hear jokes that make you cringe. You might wonder if you’re being “too much.” I’ve had those thoughts too. But the more I leaned into who I am, the more I realised I didn’t want to shrink myself to fit into someone else’s comfort zone. I wanted to grow into my own space—and invite others to do the same.
The truth is that confidence doesn’t come from being fearless. It comes from being honest. And community doesn’t come from fitting in—it comes from belonging. When you stop trying to perform and start allowing yourself to be fully seen, the right people start to find you.
So, wherever you are on your career journey—whether you’re just starting out or leading teams—remember that being gay isn’t something you have to work around. It’s part of what makes you powerful. It shapes how you see the world, how you connect with others, and how you lead.
The workplace isn’t always perfect. But it doesn’t have to erase who you are for you to succeed. You deserve to be celebrated, supported, and valued—not just in Pride Month, but every day you show up as yourself.
That’s what real progress looks like. Not just rainbow flags and polished slogans, but workplaces where we’re not just accepted—we’re empowered.
And if you haven’t found that place yet, keep going. Because it’s out there. And you’ll recognise it when you walk through the door and feel, for once, that you don’t have to leave any part of yourself behind.